There is an excellent list of horrors circulating on the web around the things people put on their CVs/job applications. Even if they’re not true, we think they deserve to be!
| 1 |
"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms" |
| 2 |
"I am a perfectionst and rarely if ever forget details" |
| 3 |
"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year" |
| 4 |
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions" |
| 5 |
"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave" |
| 6 |
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades" |
| 7 |
"It's best for employers that I not work with people" |
| 8 |
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience" |
| 9 |
"I was working for my mum until she decided to move" |
| 10 |
"Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments" |
| 11 |
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse" |
| 12 |
"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail" |
| 13 |
"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock broking” |
| 14 |
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant" |
| 15 |
"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." |
| 16 |
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a chain store" |
| 17 |
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job" |
| 18 |
"Marital status: often. Children: various" |
| 19 |
"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers" |
| 20 |
"Finished eighth in my class of ten" |
| 21 |
"References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me" |
If someone believes they have copyright we’ll be happy to give the credit, please let us know.
