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A Quick Guide to Mentoring
Mentoring can be a very useful way of helping people to give
their best. Like any technique that is attracting attention,
firstly it is important to get the definitions clear.
Why mentoring is different to coaching
Coaching is not the same as mentoring. We think they are
different techniques. Mentoring is concerned with the
development of the whole person driven by the person’s own
work/life goals. It is usually unstructured and informal.
Coaching is much more about achieving specific objectives in a
particular way. Coaching is also more formal and more
structured, usually around a coaching process or methodology.
Where the lines get a bit blurred is when coaching is divided
into two sub groups, active/directive coaching and
passive/reflective coaching. Active/directive coaching is
about the coach knowing what ‘perfect’ looks like and through
a performance feedback loop gives the coachee ideas for
improvement. Passive/reflective coaching is about the coach
asking the questions ‘how did you feel about that?’ and ‘how
could you improve that?’ This style is more an interactive
process of self-discovery on the part of the coachee. The two
strands are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes the line between
Mentoring and Passive/reflective coaching can cross over.
Effective Mentoring:
- Both are volunteers.
- The Mentor has no executive, or direct-line reporting
responsibility for the mentee. Sometimes they don’t even work
in the same organisation.
- Both are getting ego satisfaction from the relationship. The
mentor gets the satisfaction of watching somebody grow who
values his or her insights. The mentee, a feeling of being
valued, and gaining regular ‘air-time’ with somebody who they
respect and admire.
- The intensity of the relationship is matched. It is taking up
actual and mental time in proportions both people are
comfortable with. This can flex, as the mentee’s needs change.
Sometimes, several meetings quickly in a very challenging
period, then none for three months.
- There is no dependency. Neither party need the relationship to
continue, both are happy for it to continue but it could stop
tomorrow. It can be very destructive where the mentor needs
the relationship for status reasons, or the mentee needs it as
an emotional crutch. There might be occasions where the mentee
needs a ‘shoulder to cry on’ but that is event, rather than
relationship driven.
- The mentee is not a protégé. It is not a teacher pupil
relationship, nor does the mentee (necessarily) have the
patronage of the mentor. An effective mentor gives wise
counsel, and the mentee can talk about what they need to talk
about. Where they can test arguments and have tough questions
asked of them.
- The mentor is not mentoring two people at the same time who
have a close working relationship.
Discretion and confidentiality are paramount. Also, rules of
engagement. Who knows about the relationship, some are public
knowledge some not, as long as both are happy, it doesn’t
matter which.
- The obligation for continuing is two sided. The mentor feels
they have value to add, the mentee is getting something from
the relationship. Either side can end it without
justification.
- If the mentoring practice is to become widespread, rather than
extraordinary, the culture of the organisation needs to be a
supporting one, as it does with coaching.
- Mentoring programmes are about guidance and facilitation
rather than formal training.
If you would like to pick up on any of the themes in this
overview or talk more specifically about any organisational
change issues facing you please contact:
Lynn Joy
e: lynnj@predaptive.com
t: +44 (0) 1789 734333
f: +44 (0) 1789 734401
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